Balancing Parenting and Coaching

Being a father is a tough job, but here’s a surprise: coaching your son or daughter’s soccer team is just as hard. After you step inside the white stripes, and your child’s straps on the shin guards, you are likely to encounter a variety of problems. Most of them should be simple, but some of them can be problems you never even dreamed of dealing with before. Do not panic! Although training your child can be complicated and confusing, if handled properly, it can be a very rewarding experience for both of you. Sure, you’ll likely encounter occasional bulges along the way, but if the two of you work together, you’ll enjoy some very special memories to savor for a lifetime.
I feel relieved that you are not alone. Nearly 85 percent of all volunteer soccer coaches have sons or daughters on the team, so you’re venturing into the co-parenting territory.

Start making decisions with your child
Before you decide to grab the whistle and holster and take on the role of soccer coach, sit down with your child and gauge how she feels about your supervision of the team this season. If you don’t ask her how she feels, she’ll never know. Many young people are happy to hire their father or mother as a coach, and if you see it shine in your child’s eyes when you bring up the topic, it makes all the time and effort you put in the season worth it.
On the other hand, some kids – for whatever reason – won’t feel comfortable with the idea and would rather their parents not coach the teams. Take your child’s wishes into consideration before making the decision to apply.
Here are some tips to help you make the right decision about whether you and your child are ready for you to pick up the training whistle:

• With your child’s help, make a list of all the pros and cons about being the coach. On the plus side, you can mention that both of you will be spending more time together than before and that you, as the coach, will ensure that your child and the rest of the team have fun while they learn new skills. Solve the negatives by working with your child to develop solutions. For example, your child may expect him to play a certain role just because you are his mother. Explain that you have to be fair to everyone and you cannot show favoritism and that your child and his classmates will have an equal opportunity to play different positions.

 

• Examine your motives. Don’t take on coaching your son or daughter if your goal is to make your child a star. You must be willing to do whatever is best for your child’s overall development, and harboring thoughts about college scholarships and sports stardom is simply a blueprint for trouble.

 

• Explain to your child that being the coach is a great honor. The fact that he “shares” you with other kids during games and practice sessions doesn’t mean you like him very much. Explain that it is your responsibility to help all the players on the team. Taking the time to explain your role to your child helps promote better understanding and reduces the chance of problems arising after the season begins.

After discussing things between the two of you, take your child’s ideas seriously. If he’s still uncomfortable with the idea, push your training aspirations to the side for now. You can revisit it with him in the next season to gauge his feelings. Just because he’s not ready this season doesn’t mean he won’t want you to lead his team next season or at some point in the future. The last thing you want to do is turn your child into sports and make him uncomfortable.

Focus on family-friendly field bases
If you and your child agree that holding the reins of training is a good move, keep these tips in mind as you navigate through the season:

• Remember that you are still the parent. Whether the team wins or loses, get out of practice mode and remember that you are a parent first and foremost – this means asking your child if she enjoyed and praised her for doing her best and showing good sportsmanship. Whether you score a goal or stumble on the ball trying to break up, take your child outside for ice cream or pizza after the game.

 

• Keep talking. To monitor how the season is going effectively, you want your child to understand that they can come to you with worry or trouble at any time. Just because you are the coach does not mean that some topics are now off limits.

 

• Do not pay by doing at home. If your child has a poor practice, you may be tempted to work with her on certain skills once you get home. Never push your child in this direction. In a casual conversation, ask her if she wants to spend a few extra minutes practicing a specific skill that might be causing her a little trouble. If you do, that’s great, but if you don’t, leave it alone. Pushing your child to perform additional repetitions may drain his interest in the sport.

 

• Don’t compare siblings. Let your child grow at his own rate. You should never feel burdened with your expectations of dominating or kicking football as her brother at his age did. This kind of comparison can crush her self-esteem and stifle her confidence.

 

• Praise, praise, praise! Be sure to praise your child’s willingness, understanding, and cooperation on this special project. Training your child can be one of the most rewarding experiences you’ll ever have, but it’s not always easy.

 

• Be careful with car talks. Many adults are naturally inclined to restart the game on their way home, and that’s perfectly fine if the youngster is an enthusiastic participant in the discussion. But if the game doesn’t go the way you planned, refrain from dissecting every mistake, and don’t spend the trip investigating the youngster for reasons the team lost or why they didn’t perform at their best. .

 

• Refrain from pushing too hard. All parents naturally want their children to excel, no matter the activity. In a sport like football, parents sometimes over-take their new coaching stance by viewing the position as an opportunity to control their children’s destiny. When this happens, the child’s experience is unfairly jeopardized because the parent usually pushes her more aggressively than other children, demands more from her, and accumulates criticism when she is unable to meet unfair expectations. When parents miss the big picture of what youth soccer is about, issues that affect a child’s emotional well-being, as well as their interest in learning and playing soccer, materialize.

Training your child can be a great experience for both of you, but the job can feel a bit like walking a tightrope at times while trying to avoid common traps that many trainers (especially trainers who are not familiar with their roles) tend to fall into. to me. Ideally, your behavior should be somewhere between these two extremes:

• Provide preferential treatment: Parents are naturally inclined towards showing preferential treatment to their children, whether they realize it or not. Usually, they give their kids extra time to play; seize more attention during workouts and games; And assign them special tasks, such as team leader. Showing favoritism puts your child in a difficult place with teammates and erodes team camaraderie.

 

• Overcompensating to avoid the differential treatment label: Coaches can also go a long way to ensure that no one believes they are giving preferential treatment to their children. Oftentimes, a coach will reduce his child’s playing time or give his child fewer individual instructions during workouts. Taking your child away from playtime to get away from the issue of favoritism actually creates a negative atmosphere for your child. You will wonder why you are punishing her unfairly.